Balancing Work, Art & Motherhood - NOT.

Summer has arrived! And until I had two kids under two, that use to mean relaxation, time off, and tons of time to paint.

Nowadays, I'm lucky if I have five minutes to myself after the babies go down (and it's usually spent doing dishes). This busy season of my life has got me thinking about time, the pressure I feel to spend it wisely, and some encouragement I'd like to share with you all - my favorite people.

I have seen this tension in our society between a focus on getting more done faster, and an emphasis on "self care" and "balance." It feels contradictory and sends the message that if you aren't embracing both at once, you're doing something wrong.

I've mentioned before that I've struggled with my obsessive commitment to being productive (it helps me accomplish my goals yet creates a feeling that I'm never "doing enough"). So I wanted to take the time to be honest with you about what my days really look like, rather than spewing more BOLOGNA about how to find "harmony." 

My hope is that my sharing inspires you to get more of what you want out of your life, while reducing the feeling that you don't "measure up."

So let me tell you honestly, loud and clear: I'm in a time of life right now that is full of hustle and lacking in relaxation.

That is to say, I have sacrificed nearly all of my down time, shortened many of my routines, and cut out some things entirely in an effort to fit in the things I believe will drive my goals forward.

Would I say I have "balance" in my life? No.

Do I have joy, inspiration and feel driven to act on my dreams? Yes.

Am I stressed, exhausted and burnt out at times? Yes.

Is this way of life sustainable? I'm not sure.

When people tell me they're impressed with everything I get done in my life, what they don't know is this:

My morning routine is 5 minutes: I don't blow dry (or even brush) my hair, I rarely wear makeup, and I have a very simple and limited wardrobe. I operate at a level of minimalism that would make most people uncomfy.

I do a 30 minute at-home workout most mornings while my kids play underneath and around me (LOL). I sacrifice being 100% present with them during this time so that I can move my body and feel good.

We don't have a TV in our home. We just never got one when we moved, and to be honest, I haven't missed it.

I have replaced reading with painting. No, literally, I haven't read a full book in nearly a year.

I'm sharing all of this because I think it's useful, and hopefully validating, to see what "balancing work, art & motherhood" really looks like. In other words, the balance is often nowhere to be found.

So when you think you see someone "doing it all," and living a "perfect life," remember that you don't know what they've given up to get there.

Xoxo, Carrie